If wishes were horses, beggars would sue.
Posted by Gremlin in What's New on Thursday, 22nd December 2005 at 2.09 am Zulu Time
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonhabitforming, genderneutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday event, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practises of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, as allowed by law.
Please also accept a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, gender, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wisher or wishers [hereinafter depicted as Wisher].
Legally Required Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the Wisher actually to implement any of the wishes for said Wisher, wishee or wishees, or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one [1] year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wisher, who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.
