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      Large Framed Print: Zombi Plotting. Zombi's my cat, and this is one of the better pictures I got of her. She's awfully cute, and would look nice on a wall somewhere.


Copyright © Gremlin 2008

Welcome to the Real World

Posted by Gremlin in What's New on Friday, 26th September 2008 at 5.41 am Zulu Time
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Been a few days; I know. Stuff. Blah.

Anyway. I guess I made a decision regarding Lurkers and credibility: I'm gonna go ahead and play it more realistic, I think. It's tempting to go the other way; but I can always do that later. And, based on feedback, given the level of reality already present, it can be amusing enough this way too.

That said, it seems like I should mention something about Chapter, uh...Six. But, since that's newish, and since it would help to have read Chapter Six to know what I'm talking about, and since having not read Chapter Six would make what I'm talking about a spoiler, highlight at your own risk:

Regarding the bit with the cops showing up, believing the waitress about the narrator's lack of weaponry, hauling off the gangies without taking statements from everyone, and whatever else seems a little too Hit&Run about the whole thing: the curious fact is that I've seen precisely that sequence of events occur [a couple of times actually having been the guy about to incur the wrath of the weenie with the gun he probably couldn't aim, which is more boring than it sounds] out in the world in the middle of the night. Whether that means that I saw cops breaking rules and laws and amendments and whatever [I've seen them do other things later confirmed to have been illegal, so it's possible] or just saw cops arresting people stupid enough to leap up and show off their concealed guns: it's all very stupid, but hardly unprecedented. I'll probably mention that at the end of the book too; but, since people are kinda reading along as I write at least a percentage of this thing, now seems like a good time to mention that, while weird, it's all very real. And yet a work of fiction. Because the lawyers want you to know that. Also, I think they want me to continue to decline to confirm or deny that I've ever, like, walked into a Perkins and hung out with coffee and a concealed, uh...Soviet Makarov nine millimetre pistol, serial number—that; I can't confirm or deny it, despite any rumours from anyone else at the Perkins at Colorado&Colfax that night in 1995.

I looked it up. I was close on the wording, and way off on the source:

There is a technical term for someone who confuses the opinions of a character in a book with those of the author. That term is idiot.

Stephen Michael Stirling. How I got Heinlein from that...Iunno.

One reason I decided to stick with a realisticish format for the book just came in today. Mark Evans put together a brilliant radio drama [very much not an audiobook, which would be more likely to suck by definition] called Bleak Expectations, set in the late nineteenth century and following something of a fictional Dickens. Which itself makes it fairly cool. What makes it cooler:

'I see in the paper that Hampshire beat Kent.'
'In cricket?'
'No: in a small, localised war. I can't imagine Sussex being too happy over being caught in the middle.'

The whole thing's kinda like that, and weirder. Also, I think it's the first thing I've laughed aloud at for any reason this year. Either because it's funny, or because I have no sense of humour; you figure it out. Also, if it sounds funny, go track it down; the villain is Tony Head, known possibly best for being Giles on Buffy. That's the character of Giles on the show Buffy, not the character of Giles on the character of Buffy, since FanFic is worse than audiobooks.

'Oh, Spike!'
'Sod off.'
'But, Spike....'
'Bloody get; I mean it.'
'Oh, but Spike....'
'Would you stop being such a bleeding poofter, Angelis—
***This FanFic truncated by the Communications Decency Act of Common Fucking Sense***

About the book though....

Best I can figure, granting that I'm trying to figure for a lunatic known two minutes earlier for having posited that the UFOs under the orders of JFK and Elvis commanding from the Faked MoonLanding Set had flown the Loch Ness Monster into the twintowers to distract us from fluoridated water, julia [known around here as se7ensnakes] got a grownup to read what exists of Lurkers to it and concluded, as warned against by Stirling, above, that I was therefore a neocon.

I'll let that sink in and be funny for a moment.

All done? Good.

I'm not a neocon. I'm not even an archaeocon. Partly because I can derive from the etymology the meaning of archaeocon. Also because I don't makebelieve the deities timeframecons makebelieve. That I don't makebelieve that the UFOs under the orders of JFK and Elvis commanding from the Faked MoonLanding Set had flown the Loch Ness Monster into the twintowers to distract us from fluoridated water makes me not a democrat, either.

That said, I could probably mention that everything the narrator has said to date, both in speech and in text, is either something I've already said, or would be largely okay with saying if it ever came up; in a couple cases, his dialogue is actually borrowed from this and that atheistic libertarian, which I'm also not. I'm not anything: I refuse to join a party, since that leads to voting with parties and defending votes with partylines; ain't my scene. I'd be something of an cypheranarchocapitalisitic cyberpunk if there were two of us available to form a party; I think pretty much that's just me though. Which is cool: unless Cthulhu is elected, don't blame me—I didn't vote for him.

I mention that here, where it doesn't help matters much, in case anyone sees some conversation at gotards.com in which otherwise sane regulars are calling me a neocon to make julia [whom I ignored for telling me that the UFOs under the orders of JFK and Elvis commanding from the Faked MoonLanding Set had flown the Loch Ness Monster into the twintowers to distract us from fluoridated water] feel more like the idiot that it evidently is. Also I mention it here because it's funny. Less funny maybe than Bleak Expectations; but consider the source: a real writer woulda come up with a better conspiratarded myth.

Also, I went to Subway. Their newish Prime Rib Sub kinda sucks. Eat Flesh.

More later....

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Tags: Books | Cthulhu | Gotards | Lurkers | Politics | Writing

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