Posted by Gremlin [12.211.200.127 - 12-211-200-127.client.attbi.com] on 12 June 2003 at 23.09.15 ZuluTime:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

It was discovered today that danielchap9@aol.com is, in point of fact, a known child molester.
     This information became known after 'Danny', a twenty-eight-year-old Californian listing his occupation as 'AT HOME DADDY', restructed the rules of evidence to allow dictionary definitions to show vernacular words to be supported by arcane meanings, thus allowing one who has 'the animating and vital principle in humans, credited with the faculties of thought, action, and emotion' in, in fact, have a 'soul'.
     Based on Danny's standard of evidence, the accusation that one has a soul, thus allowing that one's thoughts, feelings, emotions, intellectual property, copyrights, et cetera are, by this fact, plagiarised from some unknown deity, cannot be construed as slander, libel, defamation, or total fucking bullshit. All products of animals utilising faculties of thought, action, and emotion [id est: this release], are, in fact, the words of some deity or other, and are in no way owned or maintained by the formerly-evident creators.
     Based on that, we regret to inform you that this 'AT HOME DADDY' is a confirmed child molester. He has been seen, on many occasions, to molest a child under definitons one and four, respectively:

CHILD MOLEST: to disturb, interfere with, or annoy a son or daughter; an offspring.

Of course, that's just my opinion; the deity feeding it to me could be wrong....