Posted by Hunter [12.211.202.152 - 12-211-202-152.client.attbi.com] on 16 May 2003 at 11.21.24 ZuluTime:

In Reply to: Using the internet to do what it was designed for: complain about movies anonymously, where I can't get my ass kicked!!!!! posted by Baron Greenback on 16 May 2003 at 00.15.15 ZuluTime:

Just remember, this is your fault, Baron. All. Your. Fault....

I'm not entirely sure where I should begin. Perhaps with the most glaring element? No, not Neo's naked ass....
     The CG was annoying. I don't care whether it was the 'not possible' aspect of the fighting or the goddamn frame-a-second truck-collapse-of-weeping-computer-suicide horror. I want their computer licenses revoked; let them figure out how to make the next movie without 'nobody could do this ever so let's CG it' blatant fuckery.
     And hey! Who the hell wants to buy a Cadillac now? I don't. I know from this movie that they tip over, blow up when shot at, can have the back ends ripped off of them fairly easily, and my god, who knew a person could rip the roof off one....
     And my god, they're ugly.
     I kinda liked the little black thing that chick was driving though. Kinda. What the hell was that?
     Speaking of chicks: how many nipples did you spot, during the rave? Wait, sorry, Rave. All uppercase and shit.
     It's nice to know that Raves survived the apocalypse. Maybe they could've programmed that the hell out of everything?
     And I sincerely hope that the cheering going on during that sequence was just accidentally spilling over into the Neo and Trinity SlashWriter's Dream Sequence...and there better not be any single person sitting in that theatre with me who had a moment's thought about Agent Smith being there instead of Trinity, because I will hunt you down and violate you with a printout of your story, complete with rusty staples....
     CGed fight sequences and SUPER AMAZING BULLETTIME CG SLOWDOWN NIFTY WOW bullshit do not need to be cheered for or gasped at, by the way. It's made of light; nobody really got smacked with cement.

Oh yeah, if you value your sanity, don't highlight and read what I'm going to put in black below here....

Smith was silent. Because his expression didn't change, it took Neo a moment to see that he was crying - his shoulders shook and tears rolled down his face, from behind his sunglasses. "I - apologize," he said finally. "I am not yet used to -" Again he stopped.
     Neo waited. He was sitting cross-legged on the mattress, hands resting on his knees. The man in the chair was, or had been, his nemesis, he supposed.
     He was surprised to find that his emotions were complicated about Smith. He was curious, and felt a vague, undefined pity - there was anger somewhere, but he couldn't find it. Certainly there wasn't anything to fear from the Agent anymore, but he felt the spidery, glassy touch of fear creeping over his skin regardless. Neo was aware that the Agent was a killer, and one whom had seemed to take far too much pleasure in his work. Yet here he was, not doing anything that resembled killing at the moment, or taking pleasure for that matter. He seemed twisted up, confused, caught between conflicting impulses. He seemed -
     "They made you human," Neo said. It was just a guess - he had no idea if such a thing could even be done - but he knew as he said it that it was true. Terrible for Smith, but just, poetically so. After everything, how could he turn to me now, he thought. Then: who else does he have to turn to?
     "They isolated my code," Smith said, "cut it off from the collective mind, and enhanced it with certain sensory and judgment capabilities - or incapabilities, as the case may be when one is attempting to emulate human thoughts and emotions." His voice was flat, though in a more hollow way than it had once been. "It is a punishment. You destroyed part of me, but they wished that I should suffer more and simply used a previously saved copy of my conciousness matrix."
     "So now you know how it feels," Neo said. He was aware that it was a somewhat petty thing to say, but the anger was becoming clearer now and he said it anyway. "To be helpless."
     "Yes," Smith said, and nothing else for a moment. Neo stood and paced a line along the wall, waiting. Finally Smith went on, after seeming to struggle to find words. "I wish to say I am sorry."
     "/What/?" Neo stopped, staring at the dark glasses that hid Smith's eyes.
     "Do not mistake me," Smith said. "I am not a - not a /good/ man. I believe in order over chaos, and I believe that human beings are weak. What I am sorry for is that we allowed you to happen. You are out of your place now, doing things no human should ever have to do. We are not just captors, Neo, but also protectors. We could find other sources of energy, and annihilate you all, like the virus you are. Instead we let you live in a happy dream and protect you from yourselves."
     Neo could only stare at him. A small part of him was amused to find that after everything, a confusing sense of unreality was still possible to feel.
     "I know you very well, you know," Smth went on, seeming to watch him carefully. "In a way, you were the reason for my existance. All my efforts were centered on finding and destroying you, even before I knew who you were. We - I - knew you would be powerful. I don't think any of us understood /how/ powerful. It was assumed that you could be bested. And you could have been, by the rules as we knew them. But you broke the rules, and in doing so -" He carefully removed the glasses again, folding them and tucking them into the breast pocket of his black suit. "In doing so, you made the rules obsolete. For my - makers - that can be dealt with. For me -" He looked up at Neo, letting their eyes meet. "I am a creature of the rules, Neo. When they cease to matter -"
     "No," Neo said, suddenly, and the force in his own voice surprised him. "It's amazing how much I don't even want to hear it, Smith."
     The Agent blinked, for the first time since Neo had encountered him, but Neo went on, feeling a little dizzy. "I've turned my whole life into nothing, given up everything for this war. I've become a soldier - I've trained and fought and /died/. I've had the whole world pulled out from under me, and watched my friends die, and - well, just don't. Don't tell me what big fucking heros you all are for stealing our free will, that you're sorry I have to break myself to get it back. Don't give me a song and dance about how it's so not fair that we're winning, that your slaves are finally taking their freedom for themselves. Because it's bullshit. You didn't strap me down and pull that nightmare bug out on me because you're a creature of the rules. You didn't attack and threaten and torture me because your cause was noble. You did it because you /liked/ doing it, you son of a bitch, so don't give me that poor me bullshit now."
     Neo stopped, dizzy. Until he'd spoken, he hadn't really known that he thought these things. One breath at a time, he told himself. Just keep breathing. He didn't look at Smith again until a sudden noise startled him - a harsh, almost barking sound it took him a moment to realize was a laugh.
     "Oh, you're right," Smith said. Neo turned to face him, keeping his hands still at his sides though they wanted to curl into fists. "You're absolutely right. I loved it, in fact. I loved watching you squirm and scream. I loved your anger, your helplessness. I wanted to go on hurting you and frightening you until you begged for mercy. All of that is very true." At once he was on his feet, moving with more grace now, until he stood very close to Neo, a breath away. Neo could only stand there, now beginning to understand the fear he still felt of Smith a little bit - it had nothing to do with any physical harm the Agent might do him, because that was barely possible. This fear was deeper, stranger, and he didn't understand it at all.
     Then Smith leaned even closer, bending his mouth to Neo's ear. Warm breath tickled over his skin, and he had a moment to be startled - and then Smith whispered.
     "I know what you dreamed about me, Neo."
     The anger returned, huge, a rage. Neo heard himself crying out with it, and shoved at Smith, confused with emotion and not using his real strength.
     Like lightning Smith grabbed his wrists and slammed his body against the wall. Neo felt the Agent's body pressed against his, wrists pinned above his head to the wall, and in his mind's eye saw a series of images: the dream, the one he'd woken up from in sheets soaked with sweat and...other things, the one that had made him have to stand under a freezing cold shower with his clothes still on, eyes closed, until the shaking stopped.
     The bitter disgust, shame, and aching filled him again, and he couldn't think - all he knew was Smith's breath on his neck, Smith's chest and hips and legs against his own - Smith, whose passion for whatever he sought was so cold it burned, in general, now seeming to seek Neo's body with his own.
     "Get back," Neo hissed, weakly, as his head tilted back against the wall, cheek sliding against Smith's, lips parted as he tried, unnecessarily, to breathe.
     "I know you very well," Smith repeated, a low rumble in his ear that made Neo shiver in deep, hollow, secret places. "Does anyone else? Even /her/?"
     Then he released Neo, stepping back and sitting in the chair again as if nothing had happened, smoothing his jacket slightly.
     And for that, Neo had no answer. He fought with himself to dismiss it, knowing it didn't /deserve/ an answer. But it was there, the question had been asked, and he sank slowly down against the wall until he sat on the floor, staring at his own hands.
     "Perhaps," Smith said, after a long moment, "it is time we both carefully reevaluate our situations."
     "Perhaps you should go fuck yourself," Neo said. It was listless, though, without his previous rage. Smith's words had knocked that away. Now he felt only a rising panic, and the odd edge of humor that colored his thoughts whenever he found himself particularly aroused.
     Smith stood again, unfolding from the chair, and walked to stand just in front of Neo, looking down at him. Neo's eyes were now on level with the waist of Smith's trousers. They were on level with that because if he had lowered them just slightly they would have been on level with a whole new set of complications. These were complications he now felt himself sliding further and further into, but he saw no reason to seal his doom by admitting they existed.
     Smith had other ideas. He stepped forward even further, until Neo was a breath away from a very complicated evening. Smith's hand moved down, into Neo's hair, stroking it in a slow, deliberate manner that was more sinister than affectionate.
     "You didn't actually come here to say you were sorry, did you," was all Neo could say, and he had to say something, had to hold off this slide into the absolute center of fear and wanting. "You came here for - you want -"
     "I want what you want," Smith breathed, drawing Neo's head closer to his clothed groin. "I could not, before. Not really. But now - well. Living like a human is hellish, Neo, but it has its interesting points."
     "You're not human," Neo gasped, trying to turn his face away from the hard, enticing evidence to the contrary before him. "You'll never be human."
     "Thank you," Smith said, pressing harder against Neo's face, pressing his head to the wall. "But I fear you may be wrong. Just because I am bad, Neo, does not mean I am not human. The difference now is that I am aware of it. I like it. Only a human could like or dislike their own nature."
     "I hate you," Neo whispered, even as he couldn't keep himself from running his mouth over the zipper of Smith's trousers. "I don't want this. I don't want to want this."
     Smith's hand tightened in his hair, pulling in a way that shouldn't have excited Neo but did. "You have wanted this," he said, "from the beginning. You're right, I did not come here to apologize. I came to finish what we started, and to begin what we both long for."
     "This?" Neo gasped, harshly, pushing back at Smith now, rubbing his face against the former Agent's stiff cock through the fabric. He was crying, he was shaking. He hated this. He needed it. "Is this what you want?" He reached up, tearing at the cloth, ripping open buttons and zippers and reaching in, seeking with his lips and tongue. "Is this what you've come to, Agent Smith? Just a little messy fumbling and - "
     Smith gave a raspy groan, thrusting forward, hands curling in Neo's hair.
     "No, little human," he growled. "What I want is the reckoning. This is only a necessary step within it."

I warned you. Don't read it...you'll hate me forever....
     And no: I didn't write that shit. I found it especially for Baron....
     It gets worse, though. I found one with Neo being all attracted to Tank, or something....