17 June 2003 at 23.02.21 ZuluTime

Better than Ezra

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Posted by Baron Greenback [216.54.16.187 - ip-216-54-16-187.coxfiber.net] on 17 June 2003 at 23.02.21 ZuluTime:

In Reply to: The most important revelation ever posted by baron greenback on 17 June 2003 at 01.40.04 ZuluTime:

1: Now in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, that the word to your mom from the mouth of Jeremiah might be totally sweet, the LORD stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia, that he totally kicked the heads off the people and their moms, and put it also in writing, saying,
     2: Thus saith Cyrus king of Persia motherfuckers, The LORD God of heaven hath given me all the kingdoms of the earth, a ninja sword, some ninja stars, a ninja outfit; and he hath charged me to flip out and kill people, which is in Judah.
     3: Who is there among you of all his people so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time? his God be with him, and I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town, which is in Judah, and built the house of the LORD God of Israel, (he is totally awesome,) which is in Jerusalem.
     4: And whosoever believeth that that is real ultimate power, let the men of his place help him with silver, and with gold, and with goods, and with beasts, and with transformers, and with frisbees, and my pee-pee, and I won't cut your head off!!!!!, beside the freewill offering for the house of God that is in Jerusalem.
     5: Then rose up the chief of the fathers of Judah and Benjamin, and the priests, and the Levites, and your mom, who popped like 16 boners with all them whose spirit God had raised, to go up to build the house of the LORD which is in Jerusalem. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up.
     6: And all they that were about them strengthened their hands with vessels of silver, and they totally destroyed the house of their enemies with their huge boner, beside all that was willingly offered.
     7: Also Cyrus the king, who was totally sweet, brought forth a can of whoopass of the house of the LORD, which Nebuchadnezzar had brought forth out of the matrix, and had put them in the house of NEO!;
     8: Even those did Cyrus king of Persia bring forth by the hand of Mithredath the treasurer, who had to kill himself by swallowing a frisbee, after being totally pumped up, and numbered them unto Sheshbazzar, the prince of Judah.
     9: And this is the number of them: thirty chargers of gold, a thousand chargers of silver, nine and twenty knives, nine and twenty knives, nine and twenty knives, a ninja sword, ninja knives, 400 boners, a dog (to kick), a ninja sword, more cash, and the ability to kill people WHENEVER YOU WANT!
     10: Thirty boners of gold, silver boners of a second sort four hundred and ten, and boners popped in your dog a thousand.
     11: All the boners of gold and of silver were five thousand and four hundred. And if you don't believe me, I'll come over and cut your head off and pee in your butt. All these did Sheshbazzar bring up with them of them to kick ass. Then There is this super rich stupid idiot who lives in a humongous house. At his house, this guy has babes lying all over the place. The next scene is hot. The guy takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out. The audience will think that the hot babe is a normal babe, but, yeah right, she's a ninja. The ninja woman smashes the guy's head like a melon. Then all these dogs come out of nowhere and the ninja woman has to beat the dogs' asses. First she kicks this one dog right in the nuts. The dog screams and jumps out the window. Then she jumps in the air and kicks two dogs in the nuts at once! Both dogs evaporate. Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard. Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog. The boss dog is huge. Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog's nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.

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