Posted by Damien [140.146.138.62 - ] on 14 October 2003 at 19.48.14 ZuluTime:

Lucky me, look what popped into my mailbox...

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From: Mrs. Victoria Bucknor

Date: 14th October, 2003.

Dear Sir,

PRAISE GOD, THE MOST BENEVOLENT.

I am Mrs. Victoria Bucknor,named person from Liberia. I am married to
     Late Mr. George Bucknor of blessed memory who worked with Liberia
     embassy in switzerland for nine years before he died in the year 2000.

We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief
     illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both
     very devoted christain.Since his death I too have been battling with
     both cancer and fibroid problems.When my late husband was alive he
     deposited the sum of $5Million (Five Million U.S. Dollars) in a security
     company. Presently, this money is still with the Security Company.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three
     months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke
     sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to
     either a church/organisation or devoted christain individual that will
     utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here- in. I want this
     church/organisation or individual to use this money in all sincererity to
     fund building church,orphanages,widows and also propagating the word of
     GOD and to ensure that the society upholds the views and beliefs of the
     holy bible.

The holy bible emphasized so much on GOD benevolence and this has
     encouraged me to take this bold step. I took this decision because I don't
     have any child that will inherit this money, and I don't want my
     husband's hard earned money to be misused by people I call unbelievers. I
     don't want
     a situation where this money will be used in an unholy manner. Hence
     the reason for taking this bold decision. I know that after death I will
     be with GOD the most benevolent and the most merciful. I don't need any
     telephone communication in this regard because of my health and also of
     the
     presence of my husband's relatives around me always.

I don't want them to know about this development. With GOD all things
     are possible. As soon as I receive your reply, I will tell you how to
     receive the fund with Security Company . I will also issue you a letter
     of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this
     fund. I want you and the christains/Muslims communities where you reside
     to always pray for me.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a true devoted christain worthy
     of emulation. Whoever that wants to serve the GOD must serve him in
     truth and in fairness. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
     Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a
     church/organisation or a devoted christain for this same purpose.

Until I hear from you, my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders.

May the almighty GOD continue to guide and protect you.

Regards,

Mrs. Victoria Bucknor

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Dear Mrs. Bucknor,

Thank you so much for you generous offer. As I am a devote christain myself, I jumped at the chance to be able to use five million U.S. dollars to fund my local christain church. Before I jump fully into this offer though, I have a few questions...

1) After a brief search on the internet, I became aware of the fact that there was no Liberian embassy in Switzerland. Feeling that there might have been a slight typo, I checked the staff records of the three known existing Liberian embassies, the embassies to France, Belgium, and the U.S. Unfortunately, the Belgium embassy must be having some technical difficulties, as their site was not up for service. The French site, run by French, was in French, so they weren't a lot of help either. The U.S. site was the most amusing, as the URL http://www.liberiaemb.org/ , led to a hotel/ apartment rental site.

Despite this setback, I continued my search, typing in 'George Bucknor Liberia' in the search engine. This turned up nothing. 'George Bucknor', 'Bucknor Liberia', 'Bucknor Switzerland', and 'Bucknor Embassy' also failed to turn up anything.

My first question is this, could I know the position your late husband held in the embassy? His title perhaps? Also, might I have the address of this embassy so that I might write a belated letter of condolance for their late employee?

2) The description of the illnesses are rather lax. I was wondering if I might have a little more detail on them. For instance, there are next to no illnesses that last four days. Perhaps the symptoms last four days, but the illness will have an incubation period before the symptoms appear. Also, what kind of cancer? There are literally hundreds to choose from, and not all are fatal. Another area of confusion is with your fibroid problems. Fibroids are muscular growths in the uterine wall. 99% of fibroids are benign, and the few cancerous ones, at worse, will cause a heavier than normal period. Why would something that causes mild discomfort be placed alongside several other life-threatening illnesses?

3) What security company? You can give the name out with opening yourself to risk of robbery. If the company is a bank, how much is the interest rate? Since your husband deposited this money while he was alive, there would presumably be three years interest, at least, in the account.

4) You say you are devoted christians. As such, any devoted christian will follow the bible to the letter. To be absolutely sure I am dealing with true christians, and not hell-bound sinners, I must ask you the following questions, do you or your husband: Grow more than one kind of plant in your garden? Trim your beard? Cut your hair? Collect interest from the money you have in the 'Security Company'? If you do any of these, I must condemn as a false-christian, liar, and infidel for breaking the laws of the most holy bible.

5) You say that you are unwilling to give your money to unbelievers, people who will use them in an unholy manner, misused, etc. In light of Luke 6:30 and Matt. 5:42, ("Give to everyone that asketh thee; and from him that taketh away thy goods ask not again.", and "Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away." respectively.) Why are you breaking the laws laid down by none other than Jesus Christ himself in the gospels?

6) You say you have lived the life of a "true devoted christain, worthy of emulation." Considering that the bible expressly forbids me to consider the words of those who are prideful, and those who shout their prayers for all to hear, why should I believe that claim?

These are just a few of the many questions I would like the answers to. I trust that as a 'true christain', you will promptly reply, with a full account of why, judging from this letter, you do not act anything like a true christian.

As I said before, should I recieve this sum of five million U.S. dollars, I will assuredly invest it in my local christain church. As there were no provisions made for 'christIAn' churches, and as there currently is no such thing as a 'christAIn' church, I was forced to create my own. As Head Pastor Father of Divine Holiness in the New Church of Christainity, all funds will be going directly to me, to be used as I see fit.