Posted by Gremlin [24.9.24.54 - c-24-9-24-54.client.comcast.net] on 17 December 2003 at 15.20.18 ZuluTime:

In Reply to: Aye yah! posted by Jurassosaurus on 14 December 2003 at 04.22.49 ZuluTime:

Which loosely reminds me--since a distressing percentage of people have convinced themselves that gremlin.net has something to do with a Warner Brothers film, begging the question of what sort of EMail the guys at gremlins.com have been getting over the last several years--I caught a recentish interview with Joe Dante, and the possibility of a Gremlins3 came up.
     Without bothering to dig up verbatim quotes, Dante is reportedly interested in directing it, if it were ever to happen. His major concern is that Warner Brothers would, as a matter of modern course, insist on abandoning most of the muppets in favour of CG. And probably bad CG at that. Which is probably a valid objection.
     On the other hand, but for Gremlins, most of the laughably retarded films of the eighties would never have happened--Critters, Ghoulies, et cetera; and most of those messes pushed themselves into and beyond trilogies. So, if any filmset deserves to become a trilogy, it's Gremlins. Objectively speaking.
     Personally, I'm not sure there's a good way to do it. The 1990 sequel was a self-spoofing comedy, which was fine, of course. I just don't see it working for a third film.
     If it were me...the first thing I'd end up doing is convincing Warner Brothers of the same thing Walt Disney became convinced of sixty years ago--that a decent film--cartoon or otherwise--about the gremlins would be far beyond even PG13. Partly because the gremlins were never muppets attacking Dick Miller, but the bogeyman attacking John Lithgow. The original airline terrorists.
     And, about using computers, that's only an issue if it's done as badly as, say, Alien³ was. Which was arguably worse than the stopmotion segments of Gremlins were. Provided that the animation could be as good as or better than What'sHisName--Golnar, or whatever--from the LotR trilogy--Gollum?--then it could work.
     Although....
     In looking for any more information about this, I was accidentally infected by this thing, which I'll tastelessly copypaste here to spare everyone the myriad popups inherent in tripod.com sites....

Gizmo the Mogwai was enjoying his day watching "The Simpsons." He enjoyed watching the antics of the one they called "Homer." Billy Peltzer was working a new drawing, and glancing at Gizmo every now & then. Just one drop of water....and Gizmo would multiply. The new Mogwai (of which Gizmo was one) would be nastier than Gizmo, and they would eat after midnight, and turn into...those...Gremlins. It had happened twice, once at his small hometown, and once in the Clamp Co. Building, in New York, New York. Each time brought new horrors, like Stripe...or the smart Gremling...The Brain. Billy shuddered. Gizmo was aware of these facts, as well. He took care to obey all three rules: Do not expose a Mogwai to bright light. Sun light kills. Do not get a Mogwai wet. And most important of all, do not eat after midnight. Gizmo went back to watching the show. He realized the credits were already on. Had he spent that all that time thinking about...them? Oh well. He changed the channel, and was delighted to find that "Rescue 911" was on. Billy concentrated on his drawing.

Gizmo waddled off the bed, and walked into the kitchen. Billy had been working so hard on his drawing, and he thought it rude to disturb him. He decided to have a snack. He walked over to the dog dish, and ate a small amount of the hearty beef. Better than nothing. Billy's dog, Barney, walked in and decided to get a drink. "Uh Oh", thoguht Gizmo. He had not noticed the water bowl, right by the food bowl. Barney did not notice Gizmo, either. He knocked Gizmo into the water bowl. Gizmo screamed. It had started again.

Five small, furry balls popped out of Gizmo's back. Each one grew, until it had formed a new Mogwai. Gizmo quickly hopped out of the water, and watched them form one by one. First, a Mogwai with very large ears formed. It looked at Gizmo, and wiggled his ears. Next, one with four arms formed. Then, one with large, sharp teeth. Next came a Mogwai with orange fur and black stripes. It uttered a low growl. The next Mogwai...oh...it had a mohawk on the top of it's head. It was thinner than Stripe's, and seemed to be pointy, as well. Very sharp. All five looked at Gizmo, and giggled. The one with the spiked hair pointed at Gizmo, them pointed to the water. Gizmo shook his head. The same Mogwai scowled. Gizmo ran for Billy. The one with four arms grabbed Gizmo. Gizmo started to cry. The four-armed Mogwai held him over the dish, and dropped him.

Gizmo hit the floor. When he had hopped out of the dish, it had slid back a bit. Evidently, the four-armed Mogwai could not see well. Not at all like the leader, whom Gizmo called "Spike". His eyes searched the room. He growled. No...his stomach did. Spike sniffed the air. He smelled something...good. He spotted it. A can of soup. He climbed up the counter, and ate the soup. He felt funny. His head seemed to throb. He knew words he did not nkow before. He also knew something he could do...and it greatly help him...and his comrades. He did not know what, but he knew he had become smarter. What was in that soup? He could now read, and he read the label. Mushroom Soup. Was it the soup that had made him smarter? Or the mushrooms? In any case, he decided to try eating mushrooms first. He hopped down, and headed for the front door.

SLAM! Something behind Spike hit the floor hard. He turned to look, and was grabbed by a hand. Suddenly, he was inside something light blue in color. A clothes basket. His comrades were also in the makeshift cage. It was over. He would not...then he noticed the sharp toothed Mogwai. "Jawsss...." he said, in Mogwai language. The sharp toothed Mogwai turned to his leader, accepting his new name. "Can you chew us out of here?" "Yes." The Mogwai said. "I think I can." And with that, he started to chew. He had made a hole just large enough to go through. Billy did not notice, he was busy deciding what to do with the new Mogwai. Then he noticed the hole. "No!" he shouted. He slammed his hand over the hole. He counted the Mogwai. He heard laughter behind him, then heard the doggie door swing. "Oh no."

Spike ran. He ran towards the woods. He knew there would be mushrooms there. He giggled like crazy as he ran. Then he spotted them. A whole horde of...MUSHROOMS! He ate. He ate them all. Now he knew the secrets. He laughed. He saw a small, leftover sandwich on the ground. He knew it was after midnight. He couldn't explain why he knew, he just did. He popped the sandwich in his mouth. He laughed. And ate.

Back in Billy's home, the new Mogwai all chattered fiercely. It was a futile attempt, as Billy was not about to feed them. He had patched the hole up, and stood guard over the Mogwai. Gizmo traded shifts with him. The Mogwai began to quiet down. Billy's eyes grew heavy. As did Gizmo's...

Spike was in his cocoon. Soon he would emerge. He could feel himself grow stronger. His head tingled. He felt something emerge from it. The things cut the cocoon. It fell away. He hopped up. He looked at his hands. He tried to run them through his hair, but he felt a sharp pain. His hand was cut a little bit. Spikes. He had spikes.ow, he would multiply...so he could easily overtake Billy & free his comrades. He smelled salt water. He followed his nose to the ocean. He laughed. And he jumped in. The splashing of the water melded his screams. He didn't know what he had done wrong. Water was the key...he knew it! He realized that, in any case, he was dying, and he couldn't do anything about it. The water washed over him, burying him beneath the sand. In his last moment, he heard the sounds of the sea...and a voice inside his head that whispered..."SPORTS...DRINK..."

Two small children were playing on the beach. They each had a sports drink in hand. As they slurped it, they spilled some onto the sand. Since the tide was low, the liquid seeped through the sand, and right onto Spike's remains. The pile of bones suddenly glowed. Skin began to form. And then...a group of sharp spikes burst out. The children were out of the way when the spikes suddenly burst from the sand. They were shocked, and who wouldn'd be? But what happened next was even more shocking. A small...monster...burst out, shook the sand off of his body, and glared at them. Spike laughed when he saw what was in thier hand. Now he knew...at least he thought...that he knew...what the secret was...a simple sports drink. He grinned at the children, who promptly ran away. Spike giggled. He ran...towards Billy's house. He crept in, and gasped when he saw...his comrades. Well...he didn't actaully see them. They were gone. "Grrr...my poor comrades!" Spike suspected the worst. Then he heard chittering. And saw...Jaws! "My comrade! Where are the others?" Spike said, in Gremlin-talk. "They are locked in the basement. Billy is deciding what to do with us. He would have killed us all, had we not pushed the patch off the hole. We have hidden well." "How'd you get out of the basement?" Well, folks, that ain't all, but I warned you, didn't I? Stay tuned for PART 2, coming soon!