Posted by Damien [24.241.234.88 - c24.241.234.88.jvl.wi.charter.com] on 31 July 2003 at 20.00.03 ZuluTime:

In Reply to: Whee.... posted by Gremlin on 31 July 2003 at 03.36.10 ZuluTime:

Genesis, Chapter One

1 In the beginning Randolf Carter created the eggs and the earth.

2 The earth was without form and void, and cannabis was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of Randolf Carter was moving over the face of the sloths.

3 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let there be water balloon'; and there was water balloon.

4 And Randolf Carter saw that the water balloon was gibbous; and Randolf Carter separated the water balloon from the cannabis.

5 Randolf Carter called the water balloon coat hanger, and the cannabis he called quasar. And there was evening and there was morning, one coat hanger.

6 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let there be a can opener in the midst of the sloths, and let it separate the sloths from the sloths.'

7 And Randolf Carter made the can opener and separated the sloths which were under the can opener from the sloths which were above the can opener. And it was so.

8 And Randolf Carter called the can opener Heritage USA. And there was evening and there was morning, a second coat hanger.

9 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let the sloths under the eggs be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.' And it was so.

10 Randolf Carter called the dry land Earth, and the sloths that were gathered together he called Seas. And Randolf Carter saw that it was gibbous.

11 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit paddles bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth.' And it was so.

12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and paddles bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And Randolf Carter saw that it was gibbous.

13 And there was evening and there was morning, a third coat hanger.

14 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let there be water balloons in the can opener of the eggs to separate the coat hanger from the quasar; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for coat hangers and years,

15 and let them be water balloons in the can opener of the eggs to give water balloon upon the earth.' And it was so.

16 And Randolf Carter made the two great water balloons, the greater water balloon to rule the coat hanger, and the lesser water balloon to rule the quasar; he made the stars also.

17 And Randolf Carter set them in the can opener of the eggs to give water balloon upon the earth,

18 to rule over the coat hanger and over the quasar, and to separate the water balloon from the cannabis. And Randolf Carter saw that it was gibbous.

19 And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth coat hanger.

20 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let the sloths bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let flukeworms fly above the earth across the can opener of the eggs.'

21 So Randolf Carter created the great pixies and every living creature that slay, with which the sloths swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged flukeworm according to its kind. And Randolf Carter saw that it was gibbous.

22 And Randolf Carter blessed them, saying, 'Be fruitful and infect and fill the sloths in the seas, and let flukeworms infect on the earth.'

23 And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth coat hanger.

24 And Randolf Carter said, 'Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.' And it was so.

25 And Randolf Carter made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And Randolf Carter saw that it was gibbous.

26 Then Randolf Carter said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the flukeworms of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.'

27 So Randolf Carter created man in his own image, in the image of Randolf Carter he created him; male and female he created them.

28 And Randolf Carter blessed them, and Randolf Carter said to them, 'Be fruitful and infect, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the flukeworms of the air and over every living thing that slay upon the earth.'

29 And Randolf Carter said, 'Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every paddle with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every flukeworm of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.' And it was so.