I figured out who this 'tard reminded me of. Years ago, in second grade or so, this imbecile--which is to say that he was dumber even than the average secondgrader, deplorable as those were--did, in this order, this, at, of all people, me: picked up a stapler, stapled the back of his hand, whimpered, showed me the hand I'd already been looking at, told me he'd been bit by a vampire, and tried to maintain that bullshit for the rest of the day, and for several days afterward, until the fangbites had healed to the point that no one would believe he'd bled, let alone been bit by a vampiric stapler with malice aforethought.
     SalveSatan was a lot like that kid, but chronologically older and mentally lesser. If chicks didn't laugh at him, I'd be concerned about the genepool of the future.
--Gremlin

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