I tried to get some antibiotics for it, but no one wants to give those out anymore. Because dumb people never take enough of them to really kill the infexion; then the infexion mutates into a superinfexion which A) can't be killed and B) can infect everyone else. So the only way to kill an infexion anymore is to be an inpatient so they'll know for sure that your infexion is dead.
So that sucks.
So I started looking into alternatives to antibiotics. And garlic seems to be one of them.
Not garlic powder; I eat that stuff all the time anyway. Actual garlic. And that's where the fun begins.
If you've never eaten raw garlic before: don't. It tastes like burning. The stuff makes Tobasco taste like KoolAid. And that's before you swallow it. It's not a recreational food at all.
As for bacteria: I'm not sure yet whether it works on that. It's supposed to, but that doesn't mean much to me. Maybe it will, given a few days.
It seems to work on other parasites though.
Cops. Particularly the ones who ask what you've had to drink tonight. And then they want some sort of 'proof', since they all have these neat olfactory alcohol-measurement implants. Raw garlic is a good way to short those things out for weeks.
Gregarions. Is this a computer? Well, let's talk about that for a while. This is a Sohnehy Vaihoh Lahptohp wihth tehn gihgahbyhtes of drihvespahce ahnd...leaving so soon? Good.
You can see how the applications are limitless. Grocerystore lines, large crowds, pickpockets...and especially SmokeFree Environments. Walk into one of those, vehemently and exhalingly praising them for disallowing cigarettes; you wouldn't wanna walk into a cloud of smoke, the way it smells, and destroy your aromatic senses, now would you. Breathe the fresh air; and mutate it into something used to ward off vampires. Hours of fun.
Whether it eliminates bacteria or not, raw garlic does wonders for the other parasites you encounter every night.
I'm not sure yet what it might do to a church. Probably nothing, really. Although wandering into some other sort of place and telling everyone to take Jayzuz into their hearts might be a neat way of linking olfactory pain to christianity; that could prove entertaining, I suppose.
Just a few ideas. Feel free to try them out for yourselves....
Okay, so what else is new....
Of course, I'm sitting in Perkins in WestDuhMoines as I write this. There are now gregarionic regulars. The same plebeians who were in here the other night have come back. Very loud and very dumb. And it's not just me: other people give them the same looks I do. Then they notice and tell the room in general that the room in general loves them anyway.
Somewhere in history, they were misinformed.
Speaking of morons and DuhMoines: one of the things I'm going to do while I'm here--since I was here when it all began--is go bother the Social Security Pyramid Scheme about a few things. I've been watching a few trends over the years. People with migraines are considered disabled. I have migraines. People with migraines are given money by the SSA. I'm not. At this point, their reluctance to pay me the several million dollars they owe me constitutes fraud. Which is hardly a surprise in a pyramid scheme. Still: I think I'm going to go in there and give them a choice: pay me what you owe me, or watch the Welfare to Working Programme create a very angry journalist exposing the fraudulent activities of the Social Security Administration.
It might work. If not, I'll follow through with my ultimatum and write a book marketed toward the Midwestern PreRetirement Crowd: fiftysomething people each paying the SSA thousands of dollars a year in exchange for the false hope that they might be getting the money back in a decade or two. The sort of book WalMart would stock, and WalMartyrs would buy. I win either way; the question is how badly the SSA lose.
Pay me now or pay me later; buy my silence or buy my book; up to you.
That's probably something I should be doing anyway. And, in a way, I am. The NotS Trilogy is a factor there. So is--or will be--Radio Free Duhmerica in a few weeks. Something to think about in a little more detail, maybe.
About RFD: we're working on it. It's all set up on the broadcasting end. I'm just kinda stuck in DuhMoines at the moment. If I can still catch Corey before he gets busy in a couple of weeks, we'll have the first episode uploaded pretty soon; otherwise, it'll start once I get home. And I'll be home sometime before September. One way or the other.
More later....
--Gremlin