Posted by wolfeman_psycho [216.201.10.179 - dark-cas4-cs-24.dial.bright.net] on 28 February 2002 at 15.11.27 ZuluTime:
The following is a Grempire APB (that's All Points Bulletin for the lurkers) issued from the official Grempire Department of Justice: Sure, we've all heard the myths and legends of gnomes...but who'd have thought they were real? Of course the cooks, crackpots, schizo's, and various other persons involved with tabloid magazines all know the truth™. Interestingly enough, I have had my own gnome encounter. The exact goings-on are still classified, but be warned the threat is real (I stole that line from the Department of Homeland Security). Linked is a leaked CIA map showing recent sightings of belligerent little buggers whoa may or may not be planting mushrooms and trying to subvert the American way of life. I say it's not worth taking a chance on a sneaky gnome infecting my yard with some bioengineered fungus, so the surveillance cameras are back to full strength. The rumor mill has pointed out that these gnomes are sometimes equipped with state of the art weapons systems including a ludicrous dual light saber made especially for gnomes, dwarfs, and midgets. More to come, as events unfold....
Lock and load, rotate your selector lever from safe to semi and scan your sectors because the gnomes are upon us!
-wolfeman_psycho