I've given it a chance--several chances--thousands of chances--and it's only led to my conclusion that there's a national suction happening here.
Duhmerica. Of the morons, by the morons, for the morons. There's just no other way of looking at it anymore.
Want an example? Lemee see what I can find here....
Hunter was in the army. Ordinarily, that would entitle her to use the GIBill she paid part of her inservice salary into for college or housing or whatever--that's all a matter of legal use, and that's not my current concern.
What concerns me is this Letter of Denial thingy which, on a single sheet, has these two figures:
|
Date of Birth: 17th August 1980 |
Reason for Denial: Tour of Duty Prior to 1981 |
I dare you to consider that and still tell me that this is the greatest country on Earth.
This is the Duhmerican military we're talking about. You know: those guys you're depending on to prevent other countries from coming in and taking over? Them. And, looking at this single document, and looking at the fact that no one has successfully enacted a hostile takeover of this nation, I'm seeing two technically-possible reasons for it.
- The Duhmerican military are actually quite intelligent, and the statisically-improbable possibility exists that the only times they make any mistakes are when they're supposed to be getting Hunter her damned money
- No hostile countries consider Duhmerica to be worth conquering anymore
I'll let you, the visitor, decide which is the case.
So.
For my next amazing trick, I have an announcement. And a slight backstory, for those trying to catch up.
In 1999, I wrote News of the Stoopid [NotS]; if you didn't know that, now you do.
In 2000, I wrote Damnitology, which was A) a sort of pseudosequal to NotS, and B) a new sort of religion which relies on the novel for atheists to hide behind, just like the judeochristians and wiccans and muslims and other ToysRUs kids hide behind their own works of fiction.
In 2000, I started to write Duhmerica--the third and final book in the NotS Trilogy. Then I stopped doing that.
Partly because a few predictions from the first book were starting to come true. The bit about the electoral college in News of the Stoopid [NotS], for example, started happening in November.
At that point, I realised that I might be better off waiting to write Duhmerica until I'd seen the results of a few things.
We know what those results were now. The pregnant chads never made it to full term, and President Junior was sworn in as the first republican in the history of Duhmerica to be elected by an abortion.
So, now it's okay to write the book.
Except that the first [and, really, only] thing President Junior did in office was to push this FaithBased ChurchFunding scheme. So I gave that a little time, just to see what might come of it.
I'm not sure what came of it. As the Prime Minister of Damnitology, I'm still waiting for my FaithBased treasury cheque to arrive. I'm guessing that the Church of Satan are probably waiting for theirs, as well.
So, notwithstanding a certain confusion over that, I can write the book now.
And then came 11th September 2001.
The last nine months have been excrutiatingly entertaining to watch. Duhmericans banding together to RaceBash anyone Pakistani or Afganistani more than the jews, blacks, indians, homosexuals, women, and every other NonWhiteChristianMale victim in history, combined.
It's a good thing I waited on this. Had I written Duhmerica back in the fall of 2000, it would now be as outdated as a TRS80. This country has changed in a lot of ways since the Clinton Administration. And, while that sounds like a good thing--while it should be a good thing...I look at this place now and I'm actually surprised by the progress this nation has made: I never expected to see the Unconscious States of Duhmerica reach this level of total suction.
Congratulations, Duhmerica: you've finally become exactly what you left England to get away from. Taxation without representation, FaithBased political schemes, NoKnock inquisitions, a caste system which defies all mutation, and a general civilian fear of a tyrannical government led by King George W. Feel blessed that you left the UK, where people can still smoke, broadcast the CarlinList, clone homosapiens, and get rair burgers without fear of being placed into protective custody for a month at a time for their own good.
So. I've put it off long enough. I've started writing Duhmerica again. I should have it finished within a couple of weeks; then we'll see if I can release it in this country without getting banned, sued, or deported for having an opinion differing from whatever AOL/Time/CNN think I should have these days.
More later....
--Gremlin