Okay, so it's not really that bad yet. But it's going to be that bad the next time one of these benighted little larvae use the front of my car as a damned slide. Yeah: it's my fault that I'm the only one on this street not driving a
and whimpering about an eight-cyllindre Formula using up all the fuel and water in the middle of the typhoon in the middle of the water shortage.
On which sidenote: I still have no idea why I'm overheating; I was driving in rain six inches deep last night, hitting the engine from underneath with enough water to cool a nuclear submarine, and the thing still claimed to be running at three hundred degrees. Something's very much wrong there.
In any case, these people are getting very much on my nerves. And, since justifiable homicide really only pertains to killing people of your own subspecies, it's probably better if I just leave.
Not that it's that easy. I'm in a Formula here. Ironically, I need someone with a
to move all this stuff across town.
I need to enlist the enemy.
I suppose I could rent another Ryder truck, but that's annoying. Mostly because people are morons, and don't realise that this ten-thousand-pound coagulation of steel has a zero-to-thirty of about a minute and a half, which is a fraction of its thirty-to-zero braking abilities. They're not much fun to drive. Although I have noticed that they don't sustain much damage, even when mashing a
into something the size of a laptop.
Anyway....
I've solved the larger problem. I'm moving in to one of those weird, affluent, suburban townhome setups which is run by various slackers of GenerationX; also, when they asked what my occupation was, I ran with novelist, which seems to have made me an instant celebrity. Which is kinda cool, I guess. So far. I also showed them the shot of Rex the Alligator in a copy of News of the Stoopid I had with me, so I'm not likely to have a lot of surprise visits from them, either. Which is also good. People annoy me all to hell. Particularly the ones I can hear breathing. Also the ones in the backyard who no longer smell very good.
I had a point; lemee see if I can remember what it was....
Oh yeah: I still need to work out a way to move all this stuff.
I might know someone who knows someone who has something called a Ford Lariat. I don't really know what that is. I know a lariat is some sort of Spanish lasso or lanyard or something, which kinda suggests that it's a tool and not one of those goofy ricer thingys you see all over Federal after dark; for that, it might be large enough to move things. I hit ford.com, but a search on lariat just gave me a bunch of adverts in Spanish, which isn't much help.
So if the guy I know can get the guy he knows to bring what might be a large enough truck, then things could work out; otherwise, I get to drive across town several hundred times in a Formula--which has this hypochondrial overheating problem--because it's nearly large enough to transport an entire kitten at once.
Oh yeah; that reminds me: the place I'm moving to is okay with pets. Not alligators, per se, but normal ones. Like dogs and things. So I might look into getting another Old English Sheepdog. So far, I've had three of them.
Just a thought; something to do.
Oh yeah, and the good news: the area isn't set up for DSL yet. Which means I'm back to Duhmerican Telegraph & Telephone--which is an appropriate name for AT&T, since they haven't worked out anything more advanced yet. On the bright side, although uploads are cut to 13Kbps, downloads are up to half a meg. Of course, DirecTelocity are supposed to be at 1.1Mbps either way, but, to date, have never got better than 26K up and 70K down. And that's every third phase of Uranus when they work at all.
I never thought it would be a good thing to go back to AT&T....
Drat. I was hoping that putting lots and lots of effort into writing a What's New would somehow get me out of packing all this junk into the disturbing number of empty Doctor Pepper cases I've collected. But I'm getting the feeling that it's not the best possible rouse. When Hunter has a boxcutter, you just kinda have to reconsider your priorities.
More later....
--Gremlin