You hate me. You really hate me.

I wrote one of these a few days ago...I really did. I think what happened to it got mentioned in one of the other What's News.
Just in case it wasn't: the fucking power went out. It didn't go out for everyone; just us. We're so special.
See, we moved into this place thinking that the leasing office would actually do what they're fucking supposed to. Turns out the former manager was some sort of idiot, and didn't call Excel Energy to get the power switched over to our name. So Excel thought that this dogfood guy, Ralpo, or Alpo, or whatever his name was, still lived here. And they thought that he was still six months or so behind on his electric bill.
So they cut the power.
And, obviously, since the power got cut, my What's New got erased. Or rather, the file got corrupted, and I had to erase it myself.
Things like that tend to make me want to bomb others. A lot.
I've spent the last few days procrastinating, not wanting to write a new one. In those last three days, I've been mostly riding my bike around, trying to keep up with Gremlin, and trying to keep this place clean without wanting to kill people for the fact that I STILL DON'T HAVE A WORKING FUCKING DISHWASHER.
Apparently, it'll be in Monday. Yippie.
I'll just sit here and play with Strife until then.
Oh yeah: Strife. Strife's my new rat. Half of a breeding pair. The other half, Gonads, will probably be obtained next week sometime. Out of a different litter, because I don't really want to have deformed snacks for my reptiles....
Anyway....
I think I'll try to work things in here a little differently, this time. I'm going to talk about people who hate me, and why they hate me.
Let's start off easy. There's Baron Greenback. He wants me dead. Why? I dunno....
Maybe it could be because of Cho Aniki -- the single gayest game ever released for the SNES, and then turned into a ROM playable on your very own computer....
And I do mean the single gayest game ever released. There are Marines less flagrantly homosexual than this game.
I downloaded this game because I wanted to torment people. I almost got Gremlin to kill me.
I think it was the mantrain that did that.
Yeah. That's right. Mantrain. A real fucking MANTRAIN.
Once Gremlin issued the 'turn it off or die' ultimatum, I decided that I'd get far more depraved, and started downloading Hentai games....
 

 
I now know why we bombed Japan.

I think we should've tried harder....

Much harder.
What makes that last picture worse, by the way, is that it's from a game called XChange. The thing pointing at her nipple is actually a guy who got a chemical dumped onto him and changed into a girl.
The FIRST picture is from the single most boring Hentai game ever. If you play it wrong, that's the only time you get to have sex. It's worth it, though, just for the advert....
Everyone reading this now hates me, as well. Yay.
Now on to other people who legitimately dislike me...aside from the people in the idiot archive who dislike me because I turned them down for sex....
 
Andrew.
Andrew probably would've eventually fallen under the 'people who dislike me because I turned them down for sex' list, because, had I not met him IRL, he probably would've eventually IMed me looking for a quick cyber to go with his porn.
His reason for disliking me...Iunno. It's probably, partly, the fact that I chose to be, well, not even a little bit polite when I declined to sleep with him when Gremlin was off "doing stuff" with one cast whore or another. Or whatever that was. That, and I wasn't even remotely 'afraid' of him; he wasn't able to control me like he thought he could control everyone else.
I called bullshit, so I was dangerous.
I think he summed it all up by declaring me 'insane'. How fucking original....
 
Curtis
I'll probably be considered a coward for this one, since I 'waited until he was no longer able to get online' to do this, or something, but that's okay. Tell another story about me, please. This time, make it one about a fairy princess!
Otherwise known as Charon online, this guy apparently hates me...I'm not sure. I'm not even sure HE knows why he dislikes me, at any given time.
Lemme see if I can put together a list....

1. I'm lazy
2. I'm a slob
3. I chat all day and all night
4. I'd be "okay" if I weren't "with Gremlin".
5. I'm a "bitch".
6. Opportunistic
7. Manipulative

That's all I can think of right now, actually...but that's enough to start with, I think. Let's take it from the top....
1. Lazy: Sure I am. I don't deny it. But at least I've been known to do things like 'move away from home'....
2. Slob: Sure. Why not. I'll admit it. I hate cleaning. Doesn't everybody?
3. Chat all day and all night: I have to sleep sometime. And hey, it could be worse. I could spend all my time, oh, say...making purple rocketlaunchers for Team Dumbass, instead of trying to make sure I'm not homeless....
4. I'd be 'okay' if I weren't 'with Gremlin': No, probably not, because I still wouldn't sleep with you. Why? I dunno. Maybe it's because you bragged for days about how a certain threesome that 'didn't happen' resulted in healing-over-bitemarks that 'drew blood', but then you hit another chick slightly more recently for a bite that didn't even leave a mark....
5. Bitch: Oh, come on. You say that to all the chicks who won't sleep with you.
6 and 7. Opportunistic and Manipulative: It's called being a predator. But really, I don't think you have room to talk. Or are you just upset that I'm a little better at it than you are, because I actually bothered to study a little psychology, and have some experience with social interaction...?
Oh, and you forgot: I'm insane.
 
Susan
Susan's this horribly fat thing that goes by Doria Stockholm online. Moreover, she's someone I genuinely dislike. Not because she's fat, no. Because she's accusing me of stealing her retarded [almost literally] son's crusty leopard blanket, because her house is banned by the fucking Geneva Convention for being a biological weapon, and because she fucking bullwhipped me with a network cable in a screaming fit one night when she presumed I couldn't count to three.
That I can't count to three has nothing to do with this. The thing is, she fucking hit me.
I don't actually know why she hates me. Maybe it's because she's a fat hypochondriac and I won't paint her deck or give her my military settlement. Maybe it's because we took the only person keeping her house clean, and got him somewhere where he could actually survive. I don't know. I'm just fully aware that she doesn't like me, and that she's a fucking idiot.
That's not really news though.
I can't actually think of anyone else who dislikes me. I really don't care. I don't much care about the three I mentioned who honestly dislike me, either. I just thought I'd share with the world, because it's kinda funny.
And it was a good excuse to blend the Hentai stuff in with a few things that I just thought I shouldn't sit around laughing about privately....
 
Update
 
Stuff's happened since I wrote this.
I got Gonads, who will hopefully figure out that Strife is female and put those huge testicles to work in creating little rats [or testicles with eyes; I'm not sure what's going to come out...].
Gremlin left for Des Moines last night, and got there at noon today after some delays [noon my time, that is]. I'll let him write about that, though.
Which reminds me: Gremlin, thanks for calling me to keep me updated on where you were and all that. It helped. I was able to sleep.
Oh yeah. We still don't have our dishwasher yet. Apparently the backorders got backordered, or something, so they couldn't backorder anything until the ability to backorder backorders came in, or something. Wednesday, maybe.
And I finally saw Hannibal. It was a good film, but they should've kept the original ending....
More later....
--Hunter
 
 
 
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