I used to live here, you know. I lived in this nice, big house on this quiet, shady street. I didn't really want to live there, because I didn't really want to live in DuhMoines. Because DuhMoines sucked.
So I left.
Ten years ago, I left DuhMoines and moved out to Denver. And that was a good thing, because Denver didn't quite suck so much. It was progress.
I've been back here since then, of course. But I never really looked at things. I never went to all the places I'd gone when I lived here. I never really noticed the little changes.
I've spent the last few days looking at things. Or, in most cases, for things. They're not there anymore.
They're just gone.
Twenty years ago, there were IHoPs in DuhMoines. Then they all closed. The buildings remained, but became other things.
IHoPs are back now. And there's one across the street from a building which was an IHoP twenty years ago.
There's something oddly perverse about that.
Everything is gone. And replaced by everything else.
I walk through malls I used to live in, and everything's gone. The ashtrays, of course; but also the stores. And the people.
It used to be that I could go into any mall in this town, walk past any given store, and someone I knew would be working there. Not anymore. Those people are all gone now. Off to other places. Other towns, maybe. Maybe dead. Who knows.
There's nothing left here now. Nothing at all. It's over. It's finally over.
And then: Corey bought a damned house here.
It's just not fair. The town evaporated, leaving nothing of any importance here, and then Corey bought a house. In DuhMoines.
Meaning that, even though this town is of no further use to me, I know I'm going to end up here a lot because about the only guy I still know from before I moved the hell away from this dump--mildmannered singer for StoneSour during the day, and Captain BigMouth singing for SlipKnot by night--has thrown half a million bucks into a house in my former zipcode.
It's always something.
So I guess that's that. For those who can fill in the relevant variables: from now on, if I'm in DuhMoines for anything, I'm probably at Corey's place.
Which, thinking about it, isn't really news. I've been crashing at his place for years. But then we'd wake up and head out to do things. And those things no longer exist.
There are new things, I suppose. But they don't impress me. Possibly because I've been playing with them in Denver for years, and they're no longer as new as the residents of this benighted town might assume.
There's an Old Navy in DuhMoines now. There's a HotTopic. There's a KrispyKreme. Yay. Someone EMail me when there's an IMax. And a HardRock. And a CircuitCity.
And a reason to be here at all.
So here I am. Sitting in the WestEnd Diner--which didn't exist ten years ago. And I'm drinking coffee and a WhiteRussian--which is, of course, a euphemism for eight ounces of Absolut and a couple of millilitres of Half&Half. And I just keep thinking about what this place was like back then. Ten or fifteen years ago.
Back then, I had long hair, no money, and a fifteen-year-old car...so that much hasn't actually changed.
But: back then, I sat in restaurants all night, writing novels and drinking coffee...which I guess I also still do.
However: back then, I...um...huh.
Okay: so I haven't actually changed in all this time. Apparently, I'm still seventeen.
And, thinking about it, so is Corey.
The town changed; we didn't. We're still the same two idiots who found enough change between us to buy a whole watermelon with the intent of turning it into a biological weapon. Of course, now that the statute of limitations has run out, I can admit something about that: it totally worked; you shoulda seen it; phoomp! Heh heh heh.
Look, anyway....
The vodka is setting in. Fun.
Mmmm...happy, spongy Gremlin....
The, um...I'll think of it...eventually...um...maybe not.
Oh yeah: I've pretty well accomplished what I was hoping to accomplish here. Except for all the stuff I'd planned on before I left Denver. That didn't work as advertised; but it's a long story, and typing is no longer one of my prowesses...or whatever the word is. That thing where you're good at something. More than one something. Good at somethings. Or something.
MORE VODKA!
And then also, there was this thing with the...that other thing. Right? Good. So that's settled.
Which reminds me: one thing Corey and I are thinking about is grem.tv. Because I have the URL. And it could be used for something better than I'm using it for right now. And so we're talking abou using it for that.
For this other thing. For some sort of television kinda thing. With stuff. And stuff. And it all works out nicely because what we can do see is to throw together little fits. Like maybe ten minutes each. In QuickTime or something. And then you watch them and...and then you'll have watched them. And that's good.
Hang on: phone....
It's Hunter. Say hi to Hunter. And she called to say that she just heard from FORCES and they're setting stuff up and so the FORCES website on the primary site will be updated on August the twenty-sixth and then that will be like that and stuff and okay so that's what happened.
She wants me to stop typing and listen to her. I'll be back in a minute....
I told her that I just told you that.
UPDATE: she said 'stop writing the What's New until you're sober'.
....
Okay so I talked to Hunter and she doesn't want me to drive anywhere if I'm not sober and I should go back to Denver soon but I shouldn't drive there right now or something; she makes no sense; she's insane.
Let's move on.
Um...okay, so that's that.
I'm going back to Denver. I live there. I don't like it here anymore.
More later....
--Gremlin